I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
