We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
