No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
