Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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