and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
