That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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