I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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