i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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