i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
