You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
