There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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