Someone shit on the floor
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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