A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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