did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
