I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
