if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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