can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
