So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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