Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
