so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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