Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
