Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
