y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Panties = found
Randomize
