Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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