He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
