I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
