My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
