4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
