i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
