You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
