I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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