so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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