I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
