What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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