Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
