too bad you live with your parents still
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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