no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize