I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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