This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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