whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
