im drinking this country out of the recession.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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