Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
