Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
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