I need help removing her.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
