Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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