i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
