I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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