super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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