i will never coherently bang her
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
