so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
