Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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