Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
