looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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